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  She looked him in the face, with those blue eyes he’d drowned in so many times before. Sean held his breath, waiting for the final twist of the knife he’d already thrust into his own heart by following her out of the ballroom.

  “No,” she said, her voice quiet but clear.

  Sean started to breathe again. “Why not?”

  “None of your damn business, Kelly.”

  He fished the scrap of paper out of his pocket. Taking one of her hands in his, he pressed it into her palm and folded her fingers over it. “My mobile, Kate. If you ever need me, any time of the day or night, call me.” He kissed the back of her fingers. “Sleep well, darlin’.”

  Kate watched the former Royal Navy officer head back toward the elevator and her heart broke all over again. Why couldn’t he have left her alone? Why couldn’t he have hated her for kicking him out of her life the way she had?

  I love you, Kate. We belong together.

  That was why—the last thing he’d said to her until he’d approached her tonight. Kate closed the door and leaned back against it, acutely aware of every breath and every beat of her heart. Her eyes closed as a wave of intense pain swept over her. If things had been different—if she’d been the kind of woman who deserved someone like Sean—he’d have been there with her now, instead of heading back to the wedding reception or wherever it was he was going. They wouldn’t have spent the last three years apart.

  Her fingers crumpled the scrap of paper. His mobile phone number—why in the name of God had he given that to her? Didn’t he realize that it was only going to open old wounds, whether she used it or not? Kate put the note on the dressing table. What she needed right now was a shower, a hot drink and some downtime in front of the TV. More than that, she needed to get out of the bridesmaid’s dress—navy blue with white-and-gold piping and buttons, the colors chosen as an acknowledgement to the groom’s former life in the Senior Service.

  Twenty minutes later, Kate was lying on the king-sized bed, watching a romantic comedy with a mug of insipid hot chocolate going cold on the bedside table. Her eyes were on the TV, but her mind was on Sean and that damn phone number. Common sense was telling her that she couldn’t go back—she couldn’t resurrect a relationship with him, not if she wanted to keep her hard-won peace and avoid hurting him again—a hurt for which she’d never apologized. She should flush that scrap of paper out of her life. She could get a room-service breakfast at six in the morning and be on her way before anyone else from the wedding saw daylight.

  Kate didn’t wait for the film to end. She switched off the TV, poured away the hot chocolate, filled in the breakfast choices on the tag that she looped over the outside door handle, then settled down to try to get some sleep.

  It didn’t take long for her to realize that sleep wasn’t going to come. Her eyes latched onto the scrap of paper.

  No, she couldn’t.

  She shouldn’t.

  She wasn’t going to.

  She needed to apologize.

  She needed closure.

  * * * * *

  In a suite up on the fifth floor of the same hotel, Sean Kelly was regretting his decision to give up smoking five years earlier. It had taken every ounce of strength he possessed to leave Kate at her door without begging her for another chance, or at least for a chance to talk about what had happened. He’d sauntered away, giving every impression that he hadn’t a care in the world when he was dying inside from wanting to hear her call his name. Needing to hear her call his name.

  Back in his own room, he’d stripped off the formal suit and sobered up under the shower—not that he was anywhere near drunk, unless it was drunk on being close to Kate once more. Now bare-chested, wearing a comfortable pair of jeans, he was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering how the hell he was going to get his emotions under control again.

  He needed to focus on something else, to turn his thoughts away from that internal turmoil. That something else was work and the phone call he’d received a few days earlier from Dan Chesterfield, a former SAS staff sergeant he’d first met while on active service in the Royal Navy.

  He remembered the man very well, along with Adam Granger, an officer in the Regiment. He’d seen them work in the field on more than one joint mission. Good, dependable men to work with and they both knew their shit inside out. After leaving the Regiment, they’d gotten involved in the security business too, mainly in the provision of close protection services to private individuals and security at high-profile land-based assets.

  Granger had long since moved on, but it seemed that Chesterfield was now being approached to provide maritime expertise as well and had had no choice but to turn that work down as he didn’t have the necessary experience or manpower. The phone call had been an initial approach to see if Sean was interested in joining him as an equal partner, combining both businesses into a security consultancy that could offer a much greater range of services.

  The possibility had intrigued Sean, but being far more cautious in business than he was where his heart was concerned, he’d asked for time to consider the idea before committing to any further discussions at the time. What was also interesting was that Chesterfield had hinted that he was trying to bring Granger back into the business too.

  The persistent ring of his mobile phone brought him out of his introspection. The number, another mobile, wasn’t programmed into his phone, nor was it one he recognized. “Hello?”

  The silence on the other end of the call lasted about three seconds.

  “Sean.”

  Chapter Two

  Kate hadn’t anticipated the urgent knock on her door coming quite so quickly after terminating the phone call. And while she knew it would be Sean standing there, she wasn’t expecting to see him dressed casually in jeans and an emerald-green rugby shirt, his hair glossy and damp from the shower, his firm jaw freshly shaven. He’d always had a strong beard, she remembered abstractly.

  In silence, she stood back to let him in and the second the door closed again, she found herself trapped between the wall and his body and his mouth was on hers. She could do nothing to stop the tears that began to fall uncontrollably.

  “Kate, what is it, darlin’? What’s wrong?”

  He was framing her face with gentle hands, so much worry and concern in his beautiful eyes. She lifted her hand, touched her fingertips to his cheek. The words were more a breath than a whisper.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She slid down the wall, collapsed in a heap and then Sean was on his knees in front of her, scooping her into his arms to lay her gently down on the bed. Then he was sitting beside her, one hand holding hers while the other stroked her hair, his callused thumb brushing away her tears.

  “What is it, a rúnsearc? Tell me.”

  He was looking at her with such tenderness. She’d made such a dreadful mistake, giving in and calling him. She was going to hurt him all over again. She couldn’t believe she’d ever called him a selfish bastard—she was the selfish one, not him.

  “Sean…“

  “Give me a minute, darlin’. I’m not going anywhere.” He lifted the covers over her and kissed her forehead.

  He’d seen the tag on the door with the request for a room-service breakfast to be served at six a.m. as soon as he’d come within sight of the door to room 358. Sean grabbed the pen from the bedside table and changed the order to breakfast for two at eight a.m., with a note of his suite number. He had no intention of being anywhere other than in this room between now and then.

  Having switched off the main light, he yanked off his clothes on the way around to the other side of the bed, aware that Kate was watching him in the subdued glow of the bedside lamp. She was wearing a figure-skimming satin nightgown and although he wanted nothing more than to have her next to him as naked as he was, now wasn’t the time. He slid into bed beside her and gathered her to him.

  He’d been expecting her to freeze or pull away from him but she did neither. He could barely b
elieve it when she cuddled closer to him.

  Her head was resting on his right shoulder—thankfully his good shoulder, but even if it had been otherwise, he wouldn’t have cared. Her hand lay lightly in the center of his chest, as it had so many times after they’d made love, right over his heart. She was his heart and never in his wildest dreams had he hoped that he might hold her like this again—even if it was only for one night.

  “You should hate me, Sean. Why don’t you hate me?”

  Her breath was warm on his skin and her words made his heart ache. “I could no more hate you than I could stop the sun from rising tomorrow, a ghrá.”

  “Not even when our eyes met in the church?”

  “Especially not then.” He kissed the top of her head. “I don’t know what you think you saw but I was thinking that it should have been us getting married.”

  More tears. “Please…don’t.”

  Sean swallowed hard. She’d called him, contrary to his expectations, but this situation was still a long way from what he wanted it to be.

  “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Sean.”

  “Shh.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ve got broad shoulders, a chuisle. Now, why did you call me?”

  “I shouldn’t have.”

  “But you did and I’m here. Talk to me, Kate. Tell me what’s weighing your heart down so much.”

  Her arm moving to lie across his belly set his skin on fire. He was trying hard not to want her, but the memories of being in her bed, in her body, were too sweet and too powerful. He’d had a month to get to know her before going on a six-month deployment. When his ship had arrived back and she’d been waiting for him…his body tightened at the memory of that week in the hotel, when they’d lived on room service and sex.

  “I needed to apologize, Sean—to tell you that I’m so sorry for the things I said. I was the selfish one, not you. But why aren’t you here with a girlfriend? You shouldn’t be alone.”

  That was the gentle, tenderhearted woman with whom he’d fallen in love.

  And he wanted her back.

  Sean in her bed again. Kate knew that this was a night she’d treasure, his arms around her, his body next to hers, the familiar scent of him enough to calm her jangling nerves…and then set her alight with wanting him.

  “I’m not alone, Kate,” he disagreed quietly. “Right now, I’m here with you—and nothing’s changed for me. There’s no other woman I want. I’ve carried you in my heart these last three years and I always will.”

  Kate sat up, turning so that she could look at that so-handsome face—it was then that she really saw the fresh scar on his shoulder for the first time. “Dear God, Sean, what happened? I thought you said you’d left the navy?”

  “I did. I’ve been doing some consultancy work for the MOD—who do you think Jonas’ boss is? I’ve had him and the others sworn to secrecy since they left the service and joined me.”

  “Wait a minute. Now I’m confused. Until you told me earlier that you’d left the navy, I’d assumed that all of you apart from Jonas were still serving.”

  Sean shook his head. “I left first and set up the consultancy. Then I found out that the other guys on the team were leaving and would need jobs. I was getting more work than I could handle, so it made sense to bring them in. You know how close-knit we are in the service—closer than family—and with Jilly and Jonas getting serious, there was never going to be a great deal of distance between us…between you and me.”

  “So why the secrecy?”

  “Because I didn’t want you to know just how close to you I still was. You didn’t want me in your life and I didn’t want to do anything that might send you farther away from Jilly and Jonas. You needed to be close to your family.

  “As for this,” he glanced toward his shoulder, “I was in the field and when I dodged to the left, I should have dodged to the other left instead.” He grinned, somehow finding humor in the memory.

  “It’s not funny, Sean!”

  “It wasn’t at the time, I agree. It hurt like fucking hell, but no harm done. Kate, don’t cry, not because of this.”

  She couldn’t help it. He’d been wounded in action before she’d ever met him, but when he’d said he’d left the navy, she didn’t imagine that he could still be getting into situations where he could get hurt. She reached out, her fingers moving across his cheek, then down to his lips…and ever so slowly she leaned forward, eyes closed, to place a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.

  “Kate, you know I still…want you.”

  “I know.” She kissed him again. “No questions, not now.”

  Kate just knew in that moment that she wanted Sean—no questions asked. His hand cupped the back of her head, fingers tangling in her lustrous chestnut-shaded hair, holding her steady so that he could kiss her properly.

  “Kate, a rúnsearc, how far do you want this to go?”

  She got to her knees, stripped off the nightgown and straddled Sean’s lean hips. His arms went round her instantly and then she was on her back beneath him, his knee nudging her legs farther apart, while his mouth was hot and urgent on hers.

  Oh God, Sean’s mouth. She’d forgotten just how masterful it could be. That first night, when he’d taken her home and kissed her goodnight on her own doorstep, she’d almost melted into a puddle at his feet. During the evening, they’d been laughing and joking together and from time to time he’d placed the tiniest, tempting kisses very precisely at the corner of her mouth, or lifted her hand to his mouth to kiss the back of it. By the end of the evening, his arm had been draped possessively around her shoulders and then he’d walked her home, his leather jacket around her, his arm holding her close, her arm at his lean waist.

  All of a sudden, Sean stopped kissing her, rolled to one side and glared at the ceiling with an expression that could only be described as grim.

  “Shit!”

  She recognized the first word, but that was it as he launched into a stream of Gaelic invective. At least, she assumed that that was what it was—it certainly sounded like it.

  “Sean?”

  He sat up, elbow resting on one raised knee, his fingers raking through his hair, clearly agitated. “I never thought…I don’t want to get you pregnant, a chuisle.”

  Kate didn’t know whether to be glad that he hadn’t assumed he’d be getting laid—by her or anyone else—or sorry. “I thought it was the duty of every Boy Scout, overgrown or otherwise, to Be Prepared.”

  At the teasing tone of her voice, he looked around.

  “Two things, Sean. One, I told you the truth when I said there hasn’t been anyone since you. I haven’t been with a man since the last time we were together. And two, I’m still on birth control.”

  “What are you saying?”

  Kate gave a gentle sigh. “I’m saying that, unless you have a reason for me to worry, other than getting pregnant, you don’t need to worry about using a condom. Or not.”

  He relaxed beside her again. “Two things, Kate,” he said, mirroring her statement. “One, I had a full physical a month ago and I’m healthy—apart from the shoulder still needing a week or two—and two, I wouldn’t have expected anything else, given that the last woman I was with was you. Are you sure, Kate?”

  She laid her palm against his cheek. “Very sure.” She reached up and kissed him, wanting him just as much as she ever had.

  He groaned against her mouth, need making him press her body back into the pillows. “We really need to talk, a rúnsearc.”

  “Later,” she promised. “Your mouth’s got better things to do at the moment.”

  And just to prove it to him, she kissed him.

  It was all the encouragement Sean needed. Lying half on top of her, his mouth worked its magic while his hand gently cupped the curve of her breast, allowing his fingers and thumb to toy with her hardening nipple.

  Tears forgotten, Kate pressed closer to the heated masculine body next to her, her body remembering Sean’s lean, powerful frame and
how easily and perfectly they’d always fit together. Her hand, plastered to his chest with its light covering of dark hair, slid round his back, pulling him closer, trapping his erect penis between their bodies.

  There was no doubting how much he wanted her. A memory flitted through the periphery of her mind, of the struggle she’d had not to fall into bed with him too soon and have him think she was easy. If that initial meeting in the pub could be considered their first date, she’d lasted until the third.

  “Sean,” she whispered breathlessly.

  “I know, a chuisle.” His voice was rough with emotion. “I’ll be gentle.”

  “No.” Kate shook her head. “I want you, Sean, and I don’t want you to be gentle—I need you not to be gentle.” She nuzzled into the side of his neck, snagged his ear with her teeth. “I need you to be real, convince me this isn’t a dream.”

  “If it’s a dream, we’re both having it.”

  His hand moved from her breast to the wet, aching emptiness between her legs. At the first touch of his knowledgeable fingers, an electrifying bolt of need flashed through her, memory piling upon memory of the times they’d been together just like this.

  But this wasn’t a memory, it was real and happening right now—she was with Sean again. She hadn’t been with a man for three years, because here was the only man she wanted to be with.

  She shuddered. He still remembered exactly how to play with her clit—the strokes around it with his fingers, while his thumb kept up a constant pressure, flicking over the sensitive bud in a way that almost had her mewling with need.

  “You still like that, hmm, darlin’?”

  “Sean.”

  “I remember all the things you like, a ghrá.” He punished her mouth with a rough caress and then his mouth began to explore her throat, dropping a necklace of light kisses on her skin before moving on, pausing briefly at her collarbone. She felt the tip of his tongue taste her sensitive skin. Knowing what he would do next, she pushed against the hand between her legs, begging him for the pleasure he’d always given her.